One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your partner that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don’t watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out hurtful. Though you may have legitimate concerns or issues to bring up, but doing so in a harsh manner might just damage things. Here are seven things you must never say to your hubby even in the heat of anger.
- “You’re just like your father” –This is just a no-no. Its nasty and its belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst trait of his family. If you’re about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think what the consequences may be. No man will be happy to be reminded about, or be measured by his father’s worst failing.
- When are you going to find a good job like your mates? — This one is a no-go area! You don’t demean his job or compare him and his job to his mates. First, do you want him to get a better job because it takes him away from home for too long, or because you want him to have more than enough to spend on you and the family? Whichever one it is, this is a sensitive subject, especially if you’re asking him to leave a job he loves so much. Part of how a man evaluates himself is by how well he takes care of his family, so insulting him this way is a big blow and you may not like his reaction.
- “My mother warned me you’d do this”— Or, worse still, my mother warned me about you! Something may have seriously infuriated you to say this, but what you’re doing is letting him know there are others in your camp. You’re passing the impression that you and your family often discuss him behind his back, and apparently, your mum or some member of your family despises him. You should never let the opinion of others dictate your relationship. If your mother says, “he’s stingy or he’s cheap.” say to him, “honey, why do you sometimes seem reluctant to spend money on things we need?”
- Just leave it, I’ll do it myself –This is by all means hurtful. First, it tells your husband that you consider him almost unreliable in handling some things around the house all by himself. Secondly, it’s just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are not appreciated. If there’s something you think he’s not handling right, there are sweeter ways to tell him so.
- You always disappoint — Except if the man doesn’t care about you, no man will be happy to hear this from his woman. If he has disappointed you a couple of times by not giving you some money he promised or not buying you something he assured you he would get you, for all you know, he might be feeling really bad about it, telling him with venom how disappointed you are might only make him feel even worse and he might just wait for the right time to fire back at you.
- Do you really think you look as good as you believe you look? — This one smirks of envy. You probably know your hubby isn’t a bad looking bloke, I mean, isn’t that one of the reasons you fell for him in the first place? But you don’t like the fact that he’s still looking young despite the fact that both of you are advancing in age and he’s still getting some attention from the opposite sex. If you go on trying to deflate his ego like this, and he suspects it’s out of envy, he might begin to question your love for him and decrease his love for you.
- Ugh! We’re hanging out with him/them again?—The moment you signed those dotted lines, you must be ready to accommodate all of your husband’s friends and family members. There might be a few of them that are intolerable, but you must do everything to tolerate them. So, if your hubby says its time to go out with a friend you don’t like, be careful how you express your disgust. One thing is for sure, he’s not likely to kick his friend or a family member out of his life because of you.